Disclaimer: Before any body gets up in arms, I feel the need to explain myself. This is a picture of my son who I love more than anything. If a train was coming down the tracks and he was on it, I would push him out of the way without any thought for myself. My husband even knows this and accepts it. Daniel comes before anybody. Okay, so here goes nothing. On Feb. 12, 1989 I became a mother because I gave birth to Daniel. But even though he is flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone, I still don't feel like a mother. The first reason is that I didn't give birth to him the normal way. I had to have a C-section. So for some strange reason, that doesn't count in my book. Well, maybe for you but not me.
The next thing that happened was that I worked not too long after he was born. Not sure why that was but I worked. So he was in some type of day care.
Then as the months progressed it was clear that there was something wrong. He wasn't developing like he should have. I think when he was a little over a year old, we were putting him on a bus to go to school.
When Daniel was almost 6 we placed him in a group home. Long and hard story but it was the best for all of us.(He is very happy and doing very well)
So because of all of these things, I don't feel like a mother because my experience wasn't the norm. I didn't get to send him to Kindergarten, have him baptized, graduate from high school, go on a mission for church etc, etc. I have just not had the normal experiences that most mothers have. I don't even get to do the day to day things either. I don't even have to take him to the doctor.
But, after all this is said and I feel the way I feel, I would not change it. I would not send him back and start over. I feel very blessed to have Daniel in my life. This whole experience has taught me so much. I just wish I could have had more children.
Thanks for listening to me. Please comment . I love feedback. Oh and Happy Belated Mothers Day to everyone. (this was my Mother's Day Post--a little late I know)