Wednesday, January 27, 2016

My Little Brother Is Wearing An Orange Jumpsuit

I have many emotions running through me as I sit here and type this blog post.  I don't know exactly what to say, I just know I need to get this down to help me work through the pain of it all.

I found out a couple of days ago that my little brother is in jail for stabbing his wife and breaking some of her ribs.  I don't know any more details than that.  I just talked to my sister-in-laws mother.  My SIL is okay.  She was in the hospital for a couple of days.

I don't know what to feel at this time.  My little brother was so sweet and kind back in the day but drugs and alcohol really can take a toll on people and change them.  Also, my brother has really pulled himself away from the family over the years.  I just hate drugs.  I wish they weren't here.

Because of all this history it brings about all my conflicting feelings.  I really care and then I find myself not caring at all because he brought this on himself.  I want to punch him and shake him but then I want to hug him because I remember how sweet and wonderful he was to me.  There are 6 years between us but were we always closer that me and my older brother. 

I just have to let it go and let God handle it.  I can't take this on.  All I can do is pray.


Ann Bennett said...

I am so sorry to read this. It is difficult when someone you love has created a disastrous situation. You do have to give this up to the Lord. It is a tremendous burden which you have absolutely no control over. I am glad your sister in law is on the mend.

Visits With Mary said...

My heart is breaking for you. Drugs have ruined a very special person in my life. As I read your post it was as if I you were writing my story. Thankfully, the violence you've experienced didn't happen for us, but everything else sounded the same. I truly know that same violence could have easily happened In my story. Stay strong and hold God's hand. Isaiah 41:10 always helped me and I carried the serenity prayer with me always. Sending you a "I understand" ((hug))

Susan Anderson said...

Drugs and alcohol have touched my family, too. I HATE them. So sorry that you are experiencing such heartache with your brother. Praying is a beautiful offering to make, and with addiction, quite often that is all you can do. I hope he hits a good enough bottom with this that he can come back to himself and get sober.

I often find that very sweet and sensitive people are vulnerable to addiction simply because their feelings are so tender they don't quite know what to do with him. It's a sad thing, when it happens that way.


vickit43 said...

My heart goes out to you. Prayers that you have comfort from God.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I am so sorry to hear this. Your feelings are very normal. I will be praying for you and may you find peace in your heart. ((HUGS))

Breathing In Grace said...

I thought I would stop by and visit, so I just saw this. What you're feeling is completely normal feelings to have in a situation like this. I know you love your brother and want to "fix" everything, but only God can do that, just like you said. Give it all over to HIM and ask HIM to come into your brother's heart. Maybe being in jail is the best thing for get him clean. Prayers for you and your brother and his family.